The Bible According to Google Translate - Genesis 2, 1-7

The story so far:

The Ten Commandments
Genesis 1, 1-5
Genesis 1, 6-10
Genesis 1, 11-19
Genesis 1, 20-25
Genesis 1, 26-31

Based on Genesis 2, 1-7:

So the heavens and the earth were changed. These days, the son is not the owner.

On the seventh day, the Lord will end his work. Never make the sun.

Keep blessing for three days and keep everything you own.

God created the heavens and the earth, the heavens and the earth and the heavens and the earth.

There is no rain without rain.

There are six locations in the world. God took the land, and it was very rocky.

And God made the earth forever.

~

Right at the beginning of the second chapter, appropriately, there are big changes. Ownership is taken of the son (who apparently had it before... the writing was a bit vague on that).

Plot twist. Will the sun actually get created yet? Or does God just procrastinate a bit? Anyway, we get some advice on what to do in the meantime. Don't sell stuff.

It gets a bit repetitive after that. But I suppose, there is some mystical meaning behind it. After all, it's a very well documented historical fact that the number three is God´s favourite. And there is more wisdom to come, because we are revealed the truth about rain.

Since God created heaven and earth three times, it makes a lot of sense for there to be six places in the world. Three earths, and three heavens. Or three sets of heavens, because don't forget about the plural. Wait - now that I think about it a little bit longer: This is about directions! Up, down, forwards, backwards, left, right. And three of them are rocky ground, and the other three are heavenly. And all that for eternity, yay!

~

I don't know if I continue regular updates on this silly book. ;-)

The Bible According to Google Translate - Genesis 1, 26-31

(What is this? Begin here.)

Based on Genesis 1, 26-31:

And God said: "We have pictures of our fishermen, and fish, wind birds, and all those who fight against the world."

Male and female God created man who missed God and His meaning. He created God in the form of God in the image of God.

Charles and her women were created. It was done by the creatures of God.

God strikes and tells them, "There are children and birds in the air, and they go to the depths of the earth."

God said to me, "I have all the earth's herbs in all the trees that came out, and they eat. All the birds in the air, and all the beasts that are upon the earth, are all living things for every one of them. I am green plants. So."

All of God will be there, God lives in there, then smashes it and everything we got. Then there will be a break.

All animals and animals need gifts and gifts.

And God was pleased with all that he did and felt good. About 6 hours.

~

Well, it's good to see male and female God getting along well enough to create something. They've also taken pictures, though they seem to be mostly interested in fishermen.

But what about those who fight against the world? I wonder if we'll hear from them again. At least there's pictures of them as well. We got this.

New characters! We learn about Charles, who seems to be the leader of a group of women. We don't really get any information about which creatures created her - the past verses have already mentioned a plethora of beasts, so I suppose there is much space for speculation. I kind of like Charles, though - maybe we will see her again later on?

Children in the air - well, I don't know what that is about. The depths of the earth sounds ominous, though. Somewhat mystical.

Herbs that eat? God is green plants? Wild stuff going on here... I like that life-affirming verse about every animal being a living thing for itself. God comes across a little bit annoyed here, though.

Good to know that there will be a break after everything's been smashed.

This version of the bible clearly uses a sophisticated version of grammar. "Animals and animals" corresponds very well to "gifts and gifts". Maybe just using normal plural forms is not enough to express this. Or it is two groups, each of which gets their own set of gifts.

So much happened, and yet God was only satisfied for about six hours. They should be a little bit self-confident, maybe. But then, didn't they just talk about being a bunch of plants? Sounds exhausting.

The Bible According to Google Translate - Genesis 1, 20-25

(What is this? Begin here.)

Genesis 1, 20-25:

And he said. "If you do not drink an empty bird, and the water that is in China, they will fly over. They fly through the sky above the ground."

He made the wild animals and the sea in the sea, their cattle, and their sockets for his sake, and God blessed them abundantly, and filled them with water from the sea, and from the fowl of the air.

And they are not water.

The sky was filled with the angels of the sea, on the fifteenth day of the Pentecost, when the holidays..

He said, "I love animals, wild animals, cattle, and cattle."

Then he said, "Be like wild animals! What is the skin of the skin? Wolf skin is alive."

Most of all the Lord says to the Lord: "Art."

~

It is important to drink empty birds - those are the birds that are not yet filled with water from the sea, I suppose. Oh, and don't forget the water from China, otherwise some beings will fly over; maybe it's those angels of the sea. Which is exactly what happened in the next verse, so someone failed to drink empty birds, I guess.

Or maybe the birds are empty because God used the water stored in them to fill all the other beasts? Was there not enough water in China? I admit, I am a bit confused, but there must be some way to explain this theologically.

"What is the skin of the skin?" sounds like some Zen koan. I can definitely get behind that "Be like the wild animals!" thing, even more if it means that some advanced lycanthropy is involved. Or inwolfed.

~

(It occurs to me that I might at some point have to come up with my own verse numbers, since I am already out of sync. It's just more fun to mesh things together a bit, or use the same verse twice.)

The Bible According to Google Translate - Genesis 1, 11-19

(What is this? Begin here.)

Genesis 1, 11-19:

And God said, "The fruit of tree fruits are fruits and terrible dreams."

And that's it: Complete capture of destiny and God.

The land has sprouted; and in the evening there was morning there - on the third day.

And God said, "Let the air be up, and talk with a loud voice per day, and at the festival."

"Explain the heavens, to be a sign of the celebration of night and time, the sacred days and years. There are fifteen lights that shine in the sky."

(There were not.)

And God created two wonderful conversations, strong light and light. It will also be visible! Prepared and paced.

He sent forty beasts and raised that rock, for more than eight days, at night, to light the darkness at four o'clock in the morning.

~

Don't eat those fruits, you don't want to get nightmares. Maybe that is already some kind of foreshadowing? Adam has yet to enter our narrative. But I suppose you can actually say that this is destiny in a nutshell, theologically speaking.

With that settled, it is time for some parties. Festivals and celebrations - don't bother going there with a soft voice, it's got to be loud! Time itself is a worthy thing to be celebrated, especially night-time.

Then, God makes his first mistake - he claims that there are fifteen lights, but actually there are not. That seems to be a good conversation-starter though, so maybe that's why he did it. He even thought ahead to prepare some visual aid for what he had to say.

Nothing better to do at four in the morning than getting woken up by a bunch of beasts and that rock. You know which rock we are talking about, do you? At least, the author of the Holy Book certainly expects you to. And I only just realized the sexual innuendo there.

(to the next part)

The Bible According to Google Translate - Genesis 1, 6-10

(What is this? Click here for part 1.)

(based on Genesis 1, 6-10)

And God Almighty said: "There is a petition in the water. Let me pour water and leave water out of the water!"

God went to heaven, the wind and the water.

God remembered the "paradise" button and was there in the morning, and it was there in the morning, on the second day.

And he said, "Ye shall dwell in the heaven, and ye shall inherit the land." And he said, "It is in heaven, and in the earth." - And he is right.

The ocean is called "Earth", which is allowed in the ocean. She finds you well.

~

There seems to be some political uprising in the water. God addresses this problem first, and then goes on to the wind and heaven as well, even though the Holy Book does not describe in detail what is going on there.

It's a good thing God remembered the button of paradise! One could scarcely imagine what would have happened if he hadn't. Also good to know it didn't vanish after that, and was still there in the morning. So nobody got that drunk in the first night.

Anyway, after that, we learn that someone inherited basically everything, or more concretely, a land that is both in heaven and in the earth. Underground? Or maybe underwater, since Earth also seems to refer to the ocean. I suppose 'she' refers to Earth the ocean - she apparently takes personal interest in the people reading the Holy Book.

(to the next part)

The Bible According to Google Translate - Genesis 1, 1-5

(based on Genesis 1, 1-5)

Is the first in the world, which was first created.

I did not have a game. The beasts of the field are destroyed.

Jesus Christ said: "I have come to myself. The girl is the Holy Ghost."

There are lights of light and darkness.

That is good for the night.

(I'm using roughly the same technique as with the ten commandments here - in order to make this more fun I'm going to allow myself to get a little bit creative, mixing verses together and using some material twice.)

~

I don't know which language translated "God" into "Jesus Christ", but that certainly makes for a good plot twist.^^

Sadly, after the destruction of the beasts, the game could not start. But maybe that was a good thing? It might have lead to Jesus announcing that the holy spirit is a girl. But what are those lights of darkness? Sure, they might be good for the night, but I have a feeling that this is a setup for some conflict. We shall see.

(to the next part)

BEHOLD! I bring to you the ten commandments

... according to Google Translate:

~ ẞ ~

All these words are God. I am happy for God and Egypt.

1. There is no god at all.

2. Heaven and earth are good, God is not a god.

3. God is a living, not God-oriented reason.

4. My father hugs animals on Sunday. It will be fairness.

5. Tell your family.

6. Do not drop.

7. Make a rich marriage.

8. Play music.

9 Do not trust your neighbor.

10. I want close friends or friends, wife's wife, friend's friend, friend or brother.

~ ẞ ~

(made with the same technique as this one, but selecting the best lines from different iterations. :-) )

~

Commandments 4, 5, 8, 9 and 10 are definitely good life advice, in my opinion. I am tempted to start a religion. It will be fairness.

"Some roads are hidden and other roads are away." - Google Translate Poetry

I've put some lyrics into GoogleTranslate and iterated it through almost every language it offers. (This is not a new idea, but definitely a fun thing to do on a free-ish afternoon.) The original text was a passage from Bernstein´s Candide, written by Richard Wilbur. I will not put the original version in this post, because I like to keep it a bit more mysterious. Also, I add extra line breaks for a more poetic reading experience.

~ ẞ ~

After some iterations, this was the first result. The author hasn't quite found their voice yet, but at least they are certainly showing some promise, even if their grammar tends to be overly complicated:

No. 1

Do not hesitate to think

that I might be irritating and angry,

but in fact I said

that I had a good life in this castle castle

and I would go every day.

I liked much and do not know

that they do not know

that their black party in this world.

I took the family ferns,

I wrote a crown

and dropped half of my dough.

He was wrong and met

and went away several times;

he was forced to stop all enthusiasm;

But recently, I believe

that the practical result

is comfortable and avoidance!

I am fascinated with the poet´s ability to write themself a crown. Also, "castle" is such an important element that it has to be said twice.

~

Several iterations later... there is definitely some existential angst coming to the surface, mixed with some lines about ... food?

No.2

It does matter, but they believe

they are problematic and difficult,

but it is considered

as a wonderful life

in the palace and in everyday life.

I really like them,

and I do not know,

you do not know what is

in this part of the black and white world on earth.

On the bunches of fungus,

on the crown and on the left of the pastry.

Some seasons went into the accident

and they went away because of some traffic.

Why do you think it's a recent event,

worship, and salvation?

~

A few iterations further down. I particularly like the line about roads - the author clearly found a way to express their feelings. A sharp contrast between the rich people in palaces and the author´s own longing for a place in the world.

No.3

I believe they are problematic

and complicated,

but they seem to be a beautiful life

in the palace and everyday life.

I love them and you do not know

what this black and white part is.

Crown and dessert on the left side of the grass.

Some roads are hidden and other roads are away.

Why is this the youngest event,

worship, security?

~

It has become quite a bit shorter already, as you can see. There are no big changes from No.3 to No.4 - mostly the author´s intent became clearer, in my opinion - but somehow, a sweater entered the narrative:

No.4

We believe they are difficult

and difficult,

but they seem to live a beautiful life

in everyday life

and everyday life.

I like it, but I do not know

it's black and white.

The crown and sweater on the left side of the pool.

Some roads are secrets and other roads are left.

What is the reason for this situation?

~

The author corrects their mistake - it wasn't a sweater, it was a jersey. And they got rid of the crown. Apparently it turns out you can't write yourself into royalty that easily. Which might be the reason why they urge the reader to see that the only way to go is to the political left, even if we do not know what got us into this mess. The first part seems to refer to the upper-class?

No.5

We believe they are heavy

and heavy,

but they seem to live a rich life

of everyday life.

I liked it,

but I did not know it was white.

Necklace and jersey on the left side of the tank.

Some of these are deeper but the remaining steps are left.

What's the cause of this situation?

~

In the next version, the author has decided to drop any pretense of a happy life. The individual gets reduced to himself, and ... I admit I have no clue what this line about clothing on the beach is about. But there seems to have been a tragic event, and only some people survived.

No.6

They are hungry, thirsty,

but want to live globally.

I, but I think it's not just that.

Clothing is also on the beach.

Some of them are left.

Who helped?

~

In this next iteration, the author has turned towards spirituality - is there a world beyond this one? Does the plight of the starving people on earth make any sense? I especially like the missing question mark at the end.

No.7

They are hungry, lucky,

but they want to live in the world.

But I think this is not the only one.

There is also trash.

Some of them have left.

Who helps

~

Apparently, looking for solace in religion did not work out, and the author returns to a more dadaistic style to express their angst:

No.8

They are hungry, but wanting to live in the world.

But I think this is not one

Crops

Who went out?

~

The language becomes more and more condensed. Still this lingering question at the end - is there someone out there to help?

No.9

People are hungry, and in the world.

But no one

plant

Who's there?

~

A preference for shorter phrasing characterizes the tenth iteration. The author has turned away from looking towards religion again - now the question is much more mundane, looking to another human for solace:

No.10

Everyone's hungry.

we had

factory

Who is this?

~

Finally, we have reached a state of exhaustion - humans are reduced to their basic needs - food, sex, contact to other people:

No.11

Everyone is hungry.

sex

phone

Who is this?

~

One last change - personhood has become irrelevant, the only question is about what, not whom.

No.12

All hungry

Sex

phone

What is it?

~