Toxic Debate Culture

 (This was originally posted on my facebook wall in march 2018.)

Toxic debate culture:

When you think that if a person cannot articulate their position, they have lost and that makes you right.

When you think that if a person cannot defend their position, they have lost and that makes you right.

When you think that if a person refuses to debate you, they do so because they cannot defend their position, and so they have lost and that makes you right.

When you think that if your opponent shows any kind of emotional response to what you have said, they are obviously not reasonable, and thus have lost ... and that makes you right, of course.

When you think that all questions are up for debate, regardless of either you or the other person having any expertise on the subject.

When you think that you have a right to debate anyone that disagrees with anything you say.

When you try to make as many controversial statements as possible - just because you like peoples emotional reactions to them.

When you get so infatuated with being technically correct that you spend most of your time defending bigots because someone makes slightly incorrect assumptions about their views.

When you admire people just for their skill of winning against your opponents, but not for what they actually say, teach, or do.

~

I feel like I could re-post this every year. It is such a common pattern online, especially from anti-feminists. I'm getting better at countering those strategies, though. "Why do you think you are qualified for this debate?" has worked pretty well (okay, I only tested it once so far).

Why? Because it hits their ego.

Those kind of guys (well, it's almost always guys, although I'm sure there are plenty toxic "debaters" of other genders out there) believe that they are rational, quasi immune to bias, and for them to acknowledge that they might actually need to educate themselves is too frustrating. Because debating is fun, and researching is not.

I get that. I loved debating, and still do, when it's about topics that have no real-life consequence for people around me. However, I do no longer feel the need to point out why your argument for the existance of gods is wrong... because there are *so many* more important things to worry about. Like, literal apocalypse within this century. Rise of fascism. Or whether this fucking dress is blue or gold. Okay, not the last one. But seriously, I'd rather have a good time with a hardcore christian who also happens to be a genuinely good ally to marginalized people than a "rational" dude whose opinion of equality is that other people can have it, but only if he never has to lift a finger to actually promote it.

Well, this has kind of turned into another rant... I'm writing this now because another man I once looked up to has been consistently more shitty and I have to do something with my disappointment. Like, thanks for teaching me skepticism when I was an esoteric weirdo and needed this lesson, but ... I'm gonna move on, I guess. So long, and thanks for all the ghoti.